John Edwards, Tiger Woods, and Me

I’ve just got to get something off my chest…

John Edwards is complete scum.
(So is Tiger Woods.)
And Eliot Spitzer.
And Bill Clinton.

Look, before I go any further, I realize that there’s always “behind the scenes” stuff that we as the gawking American public don’t know about when it comes to politicians and celebs who have affairs. (Hell, does anyone really not understand why Bill would look elsewhere for his lovin’?) However what bothers me most is that these people flat out LIE once they’re caught. Not only did they cheat on their wives (and thereby screwing up their kids), but then when they were caught, they lied like it was life or death. Billy boy even cost the American public financially when he lied, as there was was actually an investigation and trial. The man swore under oath that he was innocent, which was a lie. And he was allowed to remain PoTUS and is still hailed by many to this day. Seriously?!

With the exception of Tiger Woods, the other three men I named up there (yes, there are surely thousands more) have this public persona where they’re to be held responsible to the public for some pretty major stuff. Bill Clinton was getting his weenie wet INSIDE the Oval Office. John Edwards was running for president, and cheated on his cancer-fighting wife. Eliot Spitzer was using paid staff to guard the doors of his hotel rooms where he paid over $400 an hour to do things that are illegal in some states to a hooker.

So not only have these men been unfaithful to the women who stood by them while they rose up in the political ranks, the women who trusted them, the women who carried and cared for their children, but then they lied about it.

I personally have three rules when I’m in a relationship: Don’t cheat on me, don’t lie to me, and don’t get abusive in any way, shape, or form. Outside of those three things, I can honestly probably forgive anything. (So yeah, Chris Brown wouldn’t have made it very far with me either, and likely would’ve suffered some major infliction of pain to his “manhood” had he tried striking me.)

I give Tiger’s wife (and Rihanna) some credit for booting him out and taking off her ring. Though the rumor mill today says that he’s in a sex addict’s rehab somewhere in the middle of nowhere, and that she happens to be in the same town. Who knows, but at least she’s putting her foot down. Elizabeth Edwards, though? The woman’s been battling cancer for what, 5+ years now? I mean, we’re not talking having a sketchy looking mole removed, this woman’s gone through the wringer and all the while, hubby’s bonking some indie documentary film maker. Today the “breaking news” (of which the public already was aware of) is that he lied before, and he knows that the child this homewrecker gave birth to is his. (Also that he had asked one of his staffers to pay off a doctor to fake a paternity test, and to steal a diaper so he could privately conduct one to tell for sure if the baby was his. Nice guy who was almost elected President, eh?) And where is Mrs. Edwards in all of this? Standing by her man. WTF?!

Guess what ladies? Standing by a cheating man doesn’t do anyone any good. It lets him know that there’s literally nothing he could do to make you stop wanting him. It tells young women that it’s okay to be cheated on, and that you should forgive him for his indiscretions. It shows that as a young man, you can cheat, get caught, lie, and still keep a good woman at home.

Now, before you go claiming that I’m jaded, that I’m not looking at cheating women because I’m a woman, or that I’m being too harsh – take note of something… I’m 32 years old, and have NEVER cheated. I’ve never even thought of it. My father was always faithful to my mother. But I happen to know a LOT of men (I belong to a volunteer fire department, for one thing), and I can honestly say that very few of them have the ability or desire to be faithful.

I do know a few guys who I believe are faithful, sure. It’s less than maybe 5% of the total number of men I know well enough to make that call, but they do exist. They’re honestly the only reason I haven’t given up entirely on the idea of marriage. But the other 95% are one of the reasons I’ve made it into my 30′s without having ever been married. That bothers me. It bothers me that we’re living in a world where relationships are so dispensable. So un-important to people. Celebs get married on a gust of wind and get divorced on the next one. “Real” people spend years in relationships and then all of the sudden, seemingly out of nowhere, one of them decides they’ve found someone “better”. Sometimes they respect the other person enough to leave first, but usually not.

I know that making a statement about “the old days” where marriages lasted would be on the verge of naive. I know that back then, husbands “worked late” and cheated with secretaries while wives stayed at home cooking and cleaning. I know that wives would sleep with the Maytag man when he showed up, because hubby was off earning the bread and wouldn’t be home for hours. I know that these things haven’t changed, however I do think they’ve become more accepted, and that’s so wrong to me.

What’s to blame for this sex-addicted population? Why are wives not giving it up to satisfy their husbands, or are they? Is one woman truly ever enough for a man, or do we believe the cheater’s broken record stating that “spreading the seed” is a primal instinct? There are plenty of animals which “mate for life”, so why are there so many humans who just simply can’t? Afterall, we’re the species with advanced brain power, and the ability to make conscious decisions based on more than hormones.

I may just be frustrated this morning. The news programs showed the John Edwards and Tiger Woods sex rehab stories virtually back-to-back, and I’ve been dealing with my own frustrations over relationships (actually, my lack thereof) and maybe all of this just touched a nerve with me because my ex was a cheater. In any event, to say I’m disgusted with all of it is an understatement.

Okay, I’m off to spend the day working now. I don’t need to devote much more attention at all to lying, cheating scum. (So for the record, major news networks – stop shoving it down my throat. Kthxbai.)

Related articles elsewhere on the web:

• High Infidelity (washingtonmonthly.com)
• National Post editorial board: Tiger’s tale proves morals still matter (network.nationalpost.com)
• Lack of shame is name of the game (timesunion.com)
• Are We Born to Cheat? Tempers Rise in White-Hot Debate (abcnews.go.com)

Fear Of The Dentist (Or, Ten Years Since I’ve Seen One)

I’m ashamed to admit this, I swear. I’m not the kind of girl who lets her fears take over but here and there in life there have been a few that have done a number on me. Now I’m paying for it.

Years ago (like, fifteen or so) I had a dentist I’d been going to regularly despite the fact that he was the Indian equivalent of Orin Scrivello. My wisdom teeth had been starting to poke through, and the one on the upper right had a cavity. A very small one. The dentist wanted to pull the tooth (along with the other three, despite the lower two being “impacted”) but I was too fearful and asked that he fill the cavity instead.

I saw the cavity on the x-ray. It was small. This man was so angry with me for not letting him pull it (and I’m not exaggerating, here) that he decided to hollow out the whole thing, leaving just a very thin, translucent shell of tooth and filled it with amalgam. Lots of amalgam.

Fast forward a year or so and I’m at the movies. You guessed it, the popcorn “popped” the filling and I swallowed it. Big hole left. Biiiiig hole.

No pain, though. Not an ounce. Not for a few years anyway. I was in Florida in college and it was 1999. I got an infection and went to see an oral surgeon, figuring that maybe he could sedate me for the extraction. He said I had to clear out the infection first, and he gave me antibiotics and pain meds and sent me on my way.

I never went back for the extraction.

Here I sit now, 10+ years later, fighting off my second infection. Bits of the “shell” have broken off over the years, but I’ve never had any pain. It’s bled during brushing before, but never hurt. Wednesday night it was bothering me a little, but woke me up twice in the night with really sharp waves of pain. Thursday wasn’t so bad that a little Orajel couldn’t help with.

Friday, nothing all day but creeping towards bedtime and I knew I was going to be in for it. I was so right. I tried to get to sleep around midnight-thirty and was awoken by the first sharp wave of pain at 1:30 am. Ten minutes later it’d passed and I was able to get back to sleep. Until 2:30 am when it happened again. Lather, rinse, and repeat twice more until I finally was in so much overtired pain that at 4:30 I was debating on going to the ER in hopes they’d give me antibiotics and pain killers so I could sleep. Problem is, I’ve got a $500 deductible on ER visits and I know I’d have been screwed in the pockets if I’d gone.

So I waited until 5 am and called my mom’s dentist’s emergency line. He specializes in “conscious sedation dentistry” and I thought that if I could at least leave a message or something so I could get an appointment as fast as possible (given that this was clearly an emergency), I’d feel better.

Got the dentist’s voicemail, and left a message I couldn’t get through without tears… the pain is worse than any other pain I’ve ever had. I then stayed up and played video games on my computer and drank coffee (believe it or not, the coffee helped ease the pain somehow).

A couple hours later and I couldn’t take it any longer, so I called my primary care doc’s answering service and begged for a call back right away. Their office opened in 15 mins, so naturally I didn’t get a call back. I had to call again and got the office, and sat on hold for 20 minutes. After I told her what was going on, she said someone would call me back.

I waited.

And waited.

I went to the Care Credit site to apply for it. It’s basically a medical/dental credit program where as long as you’re making your payments, you have 12 months interest free. Got approved for $1000, which is $999.99 more than I thought they’d give me, so that was a highlight of the morning.

Around 9am, the dentist called back and apologized profusely for not having had his phone nearby. I told him that I didn’t expect him to call back right away, but that I was grateful he did at all. He immediately prescribed antibiotics and told me to take a combo of Extra Strength Tylenol and ibuprofen, and then pulled his schedule out and told me to come in on Monday morning. I explained how much of a chicken shit I am, and he said that he was sure he could ease my fears. I told him he’d better have plans on sedation and he said that wouldn’t be a problem at all. He joked with me and I could barely laugh, but I promised I’d be in on Monday.

Since then, the painkiller cocktail has worked wonders. Worst I feel ever is a dull ache, and that’s when I know to take another dosage of the Tylenol and Motrin. I’ve also been rinsing with a 50/50 peroxide and water mix, and that too has helped a ton. (Don’t worry ladies, I’ve also been downing yogurt with these 875mg horse pill antibiotics. No itchies for me, thankyouverymuch!)

So that’s that. I’m finally facing my fear and heading in to the dentist this morning. I have no idea if he’s going to pull it or tell me I’ve got to wait, or what… but I’m going to add this all to my list of improvements for 2010, and finally get all my teeth taken care of. Just because I have a nice, straight, white smile, doesn’t mean there aren’t problems, and I need to make sure they get resolved.

Will report back this afternoon I’m sure!

If you don’t know who Orin Scrivello is, the video below may help you remember…