I’m going to apologize in advance if you thought this was an actual “scientific” article. It’s not. Feel free to leave if you feel misled, even though I’ll cry if you do.
So, I’m sitting on my enclosed front porch at 4:30 this morning, drinking coffee, checking emails, and stopping to play a few facebook games here and there (hey, it’s how I wake up and get my brain moving). It’s like, REALLY cold out. Maybe not even 30° yet. The porch is freezing, I’ve got the old space heater we snagged from my mother’s basement running full blast, and it’s still not quite enough.
Why am I out here? A couple reasons… it’s quiet (this way I can’t disturb my boyfriend) and it’s kind of “my room”. I have an office made out of a spare bedroom, but after spending the whole summer out here, it’s comfy for me. Besides, the office is in desperate need of organizing and I haven’t had the time to do it yet.
So anyway, I’ve been feeling like I’ve been having a mental growth spurt of some kind. I know, it’s odd-sounding, but hear me out. Have you ever gotten so absolutely distraught over something that you finally hit this one-second breaking point and decided that it just wasn’t worth it to stress over it for another second? I’m kind of there.
I’m officially throwing myself into my work, both my career and my creative work. I mean, yes, I was up way early this morning. I’ve been up way early for several mornings, in fact, without it being in my will to do so, it just happens. I’m the kind of person where once I get out of bed to pee, I’m up for the day. So rather than lay in bed and wish I could fall back to sleep, or getting up and shuffling around the ‘net with no particular purpose, I decided that the holy-kaw answer to my problems would be to write. Work. Do.
There are lots of reasons for this, and I’m sure I’m being particularly cryptic here for some reason unbeknownst to even me, but there are some major factors. Finances, are of course the most obvious one. But another one is that I’ve been needing “creativity time” and feeling guilty as hell for taking it. Sure, my creations are for sale, and have/can make money. But they’re not bread-and-butter kind of money, yet. And I just can’t justify putting things off that are going to pay the bills, for things that might someday fill my car’s tank with gas one time. You know?
So it’s about scheduling. I’m going to get up when I get up, and sleep when I’m tired. I’m going to work from the time I get up until sometime in the late afternoon. Some days it’ll be 3pm, other days maybe 6pm, but when I’m done working for the day, my brain will tell me. Then, I’m going to focus on my creative work, as a method of “winding down” before bed. I’m hoping that doing this will achieve the following for me:
- I’ll get more done, all around. More done that’s my main income, more done that’s my creative expression. I’ll feel more accomplished this way, which will satisfy my innate need to feel successful in many ways.
- I’ll be happier, because I’m doing things I love from the moment I wake up (yes, I’m a dork because I truly love my job) to the moment I fall asleep.
- I won’t feel like I have to work on the weekends, aside from regular work tasks I have to do. This will leave more time for family, friends, and being happy caring for my home. (I scrubbed the kitchen floor on my hands and knees the other day, and I actually enjoyed it. Just don’t tell my boyfriend, k?)
See what kinds of odd revelations one comes up with in the wee hours on a freezing cold front porch? ;)